Kiss This:  A Plum Short Challenge
by cricket527
Summary: A oneshot Challenge Response using Aaron Tippin's Kiss This as inspiration.  Stephanie has finally had it with Joe and makes her message very clear.  Rated for language usage.


Challenge as posed on PlumShort: Write a break up scene using Kiss This by Aaron Tippin for the basis, focusing on dialogue. Parts of this piece are directly from the song. I have indicated them in _italics_. For that reason, other things I would have put in italics for stressed reading have had to be indicated in other ways. Sorry if it is distracting. **Disclaimer:** the lyrics and the characters are not mine; I'm just playing around with them. I make no money.

Rating: T – contains language I wouldn't let a beginner read but no smut or intimate scenes.

Acknowledgements: Thank you to the ladies on PerfectlyPlum for refreshing mine (and Steph's) memory of Joe's "done me wrongs". Thank you to Rena who kept me moving on this when I believed I was messing it up.

WARNING: Spoilers throughout the series abound and Cupcakes are NOT going to care for this. It was designed to be a break up scene….don't lynch me!

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Kiss This

I sat there at the bar in Pino's watching Stephanie out of the corner of my eye as she signaled Jake, the bartender, for another beer. It was at least her third since I sat a few stools down from where she was drowning her Morelli sorrows. I've known Steph for a long time. Hell, we're basically family as I've married her cousin Shirley, but she's been like a sister to me longer than that even. I knew she wasn't in good shape but I wasn't exactly sure even I had the nerve to approach her. It was illegal as hell but I could tell she was carrying that .38 of hers with her. Steph's not a big drinker. With that much in her system, I doubted she'd stop to think it through before pulling that gun on someone who interrupted her personal little party there.

I don't know the whole story of what happened but I know Morelli screwed the pooch big time this afternoon. I think the ears of everyone in the station are still ringing from the screech that was torn from Stephanie when she walked in Joe's office and found Terri Gilman on his lap. After punching Morelli in the face, I discreetly followed her. I didn't know what she was capable of at the moment. Looking up from my own beer, my eyes caught movement across the way. I couldn't believe it. Morelli. He can't be that stupid, can he? I guess so. The dumb ass is making his way across the room. I was close enough I could hear the conversation.

"Cupcake, it wasn't what it looked like. You know I love you. I never want to be with anyone other than you. You know I'll love you until my dying day." Joe lowered his voice somewhat but I could still hear his next words and nearly choked over them. "We're working undercover. We have to make it look real in case someone gets suspicious. I couldn't tell you, I wanted to, Cupcake, really I did."

I found myself praying Steph wouldn't believe that line of bullshit. I knew for a fact Morelli wasn't on any case with Terri. Is that the line he's been feeding her off and on all these years? I always wondered why she didn't kick him to the curb over it, especially after The Dick and Joyce. Steph looked over at Joe, and then over at me. I barely shook my head; hell, if she hadn't been spending so much time with Manoso, she'd probably have missed it. I didn't want to get in the middle of something but I had too much respect for her to let her be led on like this.

Stephanie slowly set her beer down, placed her hands on his chest and pushed him away from her as she stood up. When he took a step back, she placed her left hand on her hip, left her right hand on his chest, and with a toss of her head said, _"So I guess you think we're just gonna kiss and make up, dontcha? _Guess again, Morelli." At this, I knew things weren't going to be all that pretty, even if the jackass did have it coming to him. I reached for my cell and sent a text message. Steph was gonna need someone to take her home after this and I had a feeling I was going to be needed to pick up the pieces of what was left of Joe. That taken care of, I turned back to the action.

Having caught the attention of everyone in the place, as she jabbed her index finger into his chest with every point she made, he was now _backed against the wall. She was chewing him like a bulldog with a bone. She was putting him in his place, right up in his face, dragging him down a list of "done me wrongs."_ Stephanie was making no moves to keep her voice down now. I could hear her clear across the joint.

"We" Steph stabbed her index finger into his chest. "are so done," Jab. "Joseph" Jab "Morelli." Jab "Do you want to know why we are done? Listen up." Jab. I could see Joe wince even where I was sitting. I didn't doubt he'd have a hell of a bruise on his chest. I just kept praying she wouldn't pull the .38. _The crowd gathered round, come to watch him pay for his every sin._

"Let's start with playing choo-choo, shall we? You do remember that, right? I was six Morelli, six." Jab. "years." Jab. "old." Jab. "Then ten years later, on the floor. As if that wasn't bad enough, you" Jab "wrote" Jab "about it" Jab "on the walls" Jab "of different" Jab "places" Jab "around" Jab "town!" Jab. Stephanie stomped her foot, flicked her curls out of her face, took a breath, and started again.

"You say we'll work together on overlapping cases and you always" double jab "keep information back." Both hands temporarily back on her hips, Steph stomped her foot. I'd laugh if I didn't know how serious this was. Morelli's gonna be ground beef by the time she gets done with him. There are years' worth of offenses for her to list out, and that didn't include any of the private ones the 'burg didn't already know about.

"You handcuffed me naked to my shower curtain and left me there." I don't know how she did it, but Stephanie rolled her head on her shoulders with so much force, I'm surprised it didn't snap off at the neck.

"You said I had to quit my job if I wanted to get back together with you." Stephanie's eyes raked up and down his body with an incredulous look. "Morelli, you ain't worth it. You've been trying to tell me how to live my life for years, no more." She snapped with her right hand up in his face. "You never have my back, you are always helping our mothers run me into the ground and don't even get me started on Grandma Bella."

"You leave me notes pinned to my clothes rather than on a mirror like a normal person. You pull on the front of my shirts and look down at my chest in public." From the shake of her head, I knew Stephanie was rolling her eyes on that one.

"You let me believe I was still a potential murder suspect while you were guarding the Dick's body, very much alive. How can you say you love me and do something like that to me?" Jab. Jab. Jab.

Just as I was sure she was running out of steam and the adrenaline had to be leaving her system I heard her swear and pull her finger away from his chest. Uh Oh, I know that look. That's that look Shirley gets when she's broken a nail. _She reared back and she let him have it again, man._

"Dammit! Now I need to have my nails done again." She gave him a death glare that should have caused him to spontaneous burst into flames right there. "You falsely accuse me of stepping out on you with Ranger, even encouraging me at one point so he could 'pick up the slack' when you were falling down on the job," She gave a pointed look south of the border and I cringed. Ouch! Guess even studs can be duds. That was information no man should ever have broadcast in the 'burg.

"And all these years, over this whole time you're holed up with the bitch Terri with her in lingerie or in a skanky motel room with her, repeatedly and you claim to me it didn't mean anything, it was just work, just like today. Bull! And those 'joking' comments about dating Joyce and her WonderDog." Stephanie shuddered the whole length of her body. "And you wonder why I insist on using protection with you even after all these years. You are scum Morelli, pure and simple scum!" At this Morelli looked like he was going to try and say something in his defense. Stephanie placed a hand over his mouth and continued.

"You've always said there was no 'us', there was 'you' and there was 'me'. So maybe if I say it this way, you'll understand it." Stephanie took a few steps back away from him. "_Me and you, we're through and there's only one thing left for you to do. You just come on over here," _I couldn't help but wonder what she was up to now as she crooked her finger at Joe in a 'come here' fashion. Don't do it Joe, stay where you are. "_one last time, pucker up and close your eyes," _Dumb fuck, he's falling for whatever it is she's planning._ "and kiss this. And I don't mean on my rosy red lips."_ Joe leaned over as if to kiss her and she started talking again.

"Oh, one more thing, Cupcake, the next time 'the boys miss me', remind them of this." She placed her hands one on each shoulder, and leaned into him slightly so that he was forced to bring his head down to her eye level. Every man in the place doubled over and cringed as she brought her knee up and into Joe's crotch. He slid down to the floor, a look of horror and pain clearly etched on his features.

I watched in wonder as Stephanie backed away from Morelli and turned to walk towards the exit. When she was nearly there, she looked over her shoulder, a look of pure distain on her face, raised her hand up with a flourish and said "_See ya!"_

I could see Ranger standing in the doorway, watching her. I couldn't hear him but I read his lips as he said, "Proud of you, Babe. You never disappoint." He put an arm around her shoulders and walked beside her out the door. Yeah, her ride home was taken care of.


End file.
